Mick's di'stink'ly average joke thread... :)

[Sparx]

:funny:

 

[Dal]

What do you get if you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

 

[mix2000]

Ummm? :shock: :-D

 

[mix2000]

She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.
He walked in;
She turned and said, You've got to make love to me this very moment."
His eyes lit up and he thought, "This is my lucky day."
Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and then gave it his all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove.
More than a little puzzled, he asked, "What was that all about?"
She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

 

[quest63]

Oh dear yes you wouldn't want a runny mess in the kitchen :evil:

 

[mix2000]

:grin:

 

[hewy]

Well, how did she like her eggs then? Fertilized? lol

 

[mix2000]

The inventor of the anagram has died..........may he 'erect a penis'

 

[trublustu]

My jobs so bad, I'm thinking of becoming an American journalist...

 

[mix2000]

inkeye: :shock: :-D

 

[mix2000]

The wife just told me men can't multi-task...

So I told her to sit down an shut up...

Guess what?
She couldn't do either.
:twisted:

 

[BenF]

:lol:

 

[quest63]

:grin:

 

[mix2000]

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
A pickpocket snatches watches.

 

[TGPlayer1]

Nice.

 

[quest63]

Very subtle for you Mix :-D

I've just discovered productive ticks on my phone but it can bee a complete cant some days.

 

[Dal]

A doctor on TV said that in order to have inner peace in our lives, we should always finish things that we start. Since we all could use more calm in our lives, I looked around my house to find things I'd started & hadn't finished.

I finished a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a choclutz. Yu has no idr how fablus I feel rite now.

 

[ArtfulHussy]

:lol:

 

[mix2000]

I recently opened a Themed nightclub called..."Premature Ejaculation"
..
It was a total flop
..
Everyone came too early
..
Sorry
..
Doesn't normally happen to me
..
Reopening soo...

Never mind..........

 

[quest63]

:grin: