Why Are Families So.....

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Sarah

New member
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
251
Location
Shropshire
What's the word? Challenging? Is that socially acceptable to use?

Sorry, just going through the post-Christmas huge argument breakdown and it's not easy. Especially to learn that your sister is going to Australia for Xmas 2009, my parents are off to New York and whilst I outwit them with an equally cool travel plan - rock-climbing in Spain on Christmas Day, anyone? - it still burns.....

Ta for reading my blathering rubbish. Empathy, hugs or scandalous tales of your own nuclear families readily appreciated...

A Glum Aslan
 
(((big hugs)))....
to me I think its a good thing you know all of your family - I have spent 80% of my life in public care...and dont know who my mother is... I do speak to my family I know but it hurts as I am not close to them at all....

Im sure they will all keep in touch with you, if you are going places and doing well for yourself then I'm sure you will be fine :)
 
you cant choose your family, just have to make the most of what we have. My family has never been a close one, and have lost a parent already.

Just gotta be postitive about things, put the bad stuff in the past.
 
Families eh? I went through a patch where I didn't talk to my parents but looking back it was external forces (my ex) driving the reasons.

Look at yourself and see what you want, then look and see what they want and you'll hopefully find some common ground.

Either that or tell 'em all to sod off and just do what you want!
 
have to say it wouldn't bother me at all, Sarah

it is better that they are where they want to be and happy rather than hanging around out of a sense of duty

you can always have a family get-together before everyone goes their separate ways, or after they get back

it isn't always possible to keep everyone happy - as you have found out!
 
Im with you on that one BenF.

I was away this xmas with my girlfriend who lives in Spain. What did I miss the most......? Not being present for the usually groaning relatives, having to play taxi and because of that having parents not filling my wine glass even once, bearing in mind that I am 34 and have not lived at home for 17 years....

In summary, if you wanna get away DO IT.

Christmas is a stressful time for families, I chose to leg it for some stress free R&R!
 
I was brought up in care so family doesnt mean that much to me, ive allways struggled to understand close familys

Now that i have my own i still struggle but i wouldnt be without them, they all went on holiday without me last year and i didnt really miss them but was happy when they came back

But at the end of the day i feel that allthough they are your family, they are also people who do need to satisfy themselves

So i feel that if thats what they want to do let them and be happy. You got 12 months to start planning a good alternative instead of letting your self get annoyed and upset :)
 
I agree with ben on this one. as long as your happy or having fun then it doesnt have to be with family.

My experience has usually been that everyone coming together at christmas leads to more arguements and fall outs not to mention having to watch my heavily drunk guardians parents (kind of grandparents to me) attempting to cook xmas dinner without killing themselves or burning house down then having to go vomit later on. niiiicccccceeeeeee! while my legal guardians keep telling them to go easy on the shandy and the ale and having a sense of humour failure!!

That combined with my mum always being in hospital at xmas and our last xmas, before she died, spent watching her on a ventilator trying to fight the nurses she thought where trying to kill her, before being sedated and becoming brain damaged due to oxygen poisoning, has kind of dampered any sense of xmas family spirit i could ever feel!!

Probably partially explains why im such a fuck up these days :lol:

Bar humbug!! :crazy:
 
I am always moved by the things you say about your life, Warren

you have a way of making light of some pretty serious matters, and I hope that you are smiling as you type them :)
 
good - I think all of us have things we would rather forget - you have coped remarkably well from what I have seen

I still live in the hope that you will go on another trip and give us a photo diary :)
 
I have a Mum and Dad (in their 70s) and a sister in the US...that's the total sum of my known family and relatives...and we still manage to argue :?

Spent the vast majority of my childhood being the 'odd one out' in most situations...

I have no baggage and not at all bitter lol
 
I understand what you are going through - my parents are currently divorcing and its uber ugly right now, mum moved out, dads giving me constant overload of emotion as my brother has sided with mum on all this, i understand her reasons for leaving - but have ended up being in the middle of a giant emotional tug of war (and im 25 for christ sake!)

Currently also completing my NQT teaching year, learning to drive, planning a wedding and fixing my broken puma!! not a great few months to be honest......

I always think that it goes up and down with life luck - you get a break when you need one and you only get given what you can handle with the bad stuff...... its just a head down and battle on type of thing right now!

If anyone can shed light - much appreciated.... if not - thanks for listening to me vent! ;-)

:shock:
 
Liz, I don't think there's much to say practically, other than to congratulate you on being far less polarised in your opinion than your brother. It seems all around you, to paraphrase Kipling (I think....) are losing their heads but you're keeping yours admirably!

I'd also say that a lot of the other things you cite; the completion of an important year, the driving, planning a wedding (yours?) are real positives, so whilst it is a lot to have on your plate, a lot of those portions are good, strong, positive moves forward. Furthermore, I think looking at that list, I'd jack in trying to fix a broken car if you've not got your licence yet; that can wait 'til you are up and running, or at least a bit of it can wait, surely? That way you'd relieve a bit of the workload you've got at the moment.

It's a philosophical thing you're saying which I understand; I don't necessarily agree with it, other than to say that, quite possibly, people can cope with more than they initially think. I know I have and I know others who have, too. But that's not to say that you shouldn't have a few escape routes here and there for when life gets too difficult; be it a favourite song you can whack on, a favourite film, something, no matter how small, to relieve the pressure for a bit

((((((((Liz))))))))))
 
Cheers Sarah,

much appreciated :)

Your right about the car, i will let fiancee fix it up! hehe.... i have driving test on friday - so fingers crossed
 
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