warrenpenalver
Active member
Obviously this is a can of worms.....
Now basically my dad is a bastard.
Hes the kind of man who gets married, has kids then disapears and so far hes on his 3rd marriage and 4th kid. All now grown up....
The only one hes paid any money for is the current one with his current wife, the rest he f*cked off then had nothing to do with them and avoided paying a single penny....
This is despite him working in the oil industry on a good salary that was near 6 figures, so he blatently had the ability to pay if hed wanted to.
Hes still married and in his late fifties now but is not far off dying due to developing CJD and slowly becoming a vegetable then he will die from pneumonia as most CJD patients do......his life expectancy is about a year or so they say.
Strangely hes since knowing hes going to die wanted to get to know his abandoned offspring - obviously to settle his own guilt so he can die in "peace". 2 of us (me included) dont want to see him at all as to be frank, whats in it for us?? Nothing! Having not had a dad in my life so far what will having one for 6 months do?? nothing good that i can see. Even if i did like him whats the point in getting close to someone who is turning into a vegetable and who is going to have a horrible death (horrible for him and those who have to care/watch it happen).
All that would cause is more upset and anguish. Hardly in my interests!!
Strange considering 4 years ago my gibraltarian grandparents stitched me up and rung him when i was there and he didnt want to know me then!!
Ive been getting more and more pressure from family members to have a "relationship" of sorts with him "before its too late". And to be quite frank its pissing me off a lot now!!!
Im not in contact with any of my family except half sister in USA and most of the family are putting pressure on me via her or via facebook sending messages etc and its getting to the point where im going to end up telling my half sister to stop talking about my dad or F'off!!!
Obviously the sensible side of me says its probably not the wisest thing to completely cut off yourself from your whole family, but at the moment all i see is aggro i dont need!!!
Plus what really do i need a family for at the moment??? I split up from my family mid 2000 when my guardians started to make life very hard for me because id chosen to go on operations after changing branch from air engineering, i guess he was upset i wasnt going to be a chartered engineer, like he was - well i didnt want to be him! I wanted to be me! Plus they were always controlling both in my life and the family generally (our extended family is fairly dysfunctional in my opinion), and id just had enough to be honest, especially when they caused trouble with Naval Personel & Family Services which almost stopped me deploying (what they wanted!! but would have trashed career).
I was never wanted by them anyway, they were the only aunt and uncle who were in a position to take us on, otherwise it would be into care, and that would not look good for the family!! Especially the Aunt who couldnt have her own children, and her resentment was pretty obvious to me even if she tried to hide it, she couldnt hide the fact id hear the arguements they had upstairs when i was supposed to be asleep!! Guess they didnt like it when at 19 I told her i heard all that to her face. That didnt go down well..... At least i didnt get punched on the way out the house like my brother did LOL!
So that relationship got ditched.
Unfortunately they have strong influence over the rest of the family so i become the black sheep taking over from my brother who had ironically ran away 3 years previous for the same controlling reasons.... So since then ive lived without a family and i cant see a) what good getting back in contact would do and b) how id go about explaining so much stuff thats gone on and c) how id ever get my side of events seen. So basically that bridge is well burned!!!
So the last thing i need is them pressurising me!! Interestingly none of the whole family ever tried to contact me at all except my brother sending the odd letter, and things were better that way.
my dad had nothing to do with the family really until recently! He didnt even write himself after my mothers death and had a small paragraph in a letter written on his behalf!!!
Obviously im pissed off at the c*nt for daring to think he can just disapear and reappear when he chooses without ever actually even trying to contribute to being a parent.
So i was wondering if i could sue him. He never paid maintenance despite attempts by CSA to find him (yeah its really hard to find someone on electoral register whos paying taxes via PAYE
) so ineptitude of CSA and deception by him no doubts!!
I wonder if i could sue him for the unpaid CSA payments and take it from his estate when he dies??
Surely a debt such as this can never become "statute barred" like consumer debt can???
By the way its not about actually getting a penny in my pocket, i wouldnt care if it was all lost in legal costs, its out of principle after hes done so little yet owes so much.....
Any ideas???
Now basically my dad is a bastard.
Hes the kind of man who gets married, has kids then disapears and so far hes on his 3rd marriage and 4th kid. All now grown up....
The only one hes paid any money for is the current one with his current wife, the rest he f*cked off then had nothing to do with them and avoided paying a single penny....
This is despite him working in the oil industry on a good salary that was near 6 figures, so he blatently had the ability to pay if hed wanted to.
Hes still married and in his late fifties now but is not far off dying due to developing CJD and slowly becoming a vegetable then he will die from pneumonia as most CJD patients do......his life expectancy is about a year or so they say.
Strangely hes since knowing hes going to die wanted to get to know his abandoned offspring - obviously to settle his own guilt so he can die in "peace". 2 of us (me included) dont want to see him at all as to be frank, whats in it for us?? Nothing! Having not had a dad in my life so far what will having one for 6 months do?? nothing good that i can see. Even if i did like him whats the point in getting close to someone who is turning into a vegetable and who is going to have a horrible death (horrible for him and those who have to care/watch it happen).
All that would cause is more upset and anguish. Hardly in my interests!!
Strange considering 4 years ago my gibraltarian grandparents stitched me up and rung him when i was there and he didnt want to know me then!!
Ive been getting more and more pressure from family members to have a "relationship" of sorts with him "before its too late". And to be quite frank its pissing me off a lot now!!!
Im not in contact with any of my family except half sister in USA and most of the family are putting pressure on me via her or via facebook sending messages etc and its getting to the point where im going to end up telling my half sister to stop talking about my dad or F'off!!!
Obviously the sensible side of me says its probably not the wisest thing to completely cut off yourself from your whole family, but at the moment all i see is aggro i dont need!!!
Plus what really do i need a family for at the moment??? I split up from my family mid 2000 when my guardians started to make life very hard for me because id chosen to go on operations after changing branch from air engineering, i guess he was upset i wasnt going to be a chartered engineer, like he was - well i didnt want to be him! I wanted to be me! Plus they were always controlling both in my life and the family generally (our extended family is fairly dysfunctional in my opinion), and id just had enough to be honest, especially when they caused trouble with Naval Personel & Family Services which almost stopped me deploying (what they wanted!! but would have trashed career).
I was never wanted by them anyway, they were the only aunt and uncle who were in a position to take us on, otherwise it would be into care, and that would not look good for the family!! Especially the Aunt who couldnt have her own children, and her resentment was pretty obvious to me even if she tried to hide it, she couldnt hide the fact id hear the arguements they had upstairs when i was supposed to be asleep!! Guess they didnt like it when at 19 I told her i heard all that to her face. That didnt go down well..... At least i didnt get punched on the way out the house like my brother did LOL!
So that relationship got ditched.
Unfortunately they have strong influence over the rest of the family so i become the black sheep taking over from my brother who had ironically ran away 3 years previous for the same controlling reasons.... So since then ive lived without a family and i cant see a) what good getting back in contact would do and b) how id go about explaining so much stuff thats gone on and c) how id ever get my side of events seen. So basically that bridge is well burned!!!
So the last thing i need is them pressurising me!! Interestingly none of the whole family ever tried to contact me at all except my brother sending the odd letter, and things were better that way.
my dad had nothing to do with the family really until recently! He didnt even write himself after my mothers death and had a small paragraph in a letter written on his behalf!!!
Obviously im pissed off at the c*nt for daring to think he can just disapear and reappear when he chooses without ever actually even trying to contribute to being a parent.
So i was wondering if i could sue him. He never paid maintenance despite attempts by CSA to find him (yeah its really hard to find someone on electoral register whos paying taxes via PAYE
) so ineptitude of CSA and deception by him no doubts!! I wonder if i could sue him for the unpaid CSA payments and take it from his estate when he dies??
Surely a debt such as this can never become "statute barred" like consumer debt can???
By the way its not about actually getting a penny in my pocket, i wouldnt care if it was all lost in legal costs, its out of principle after hes done so little yet owes so much.....
Any ideas???
