For funk's sake!

[harrisg]

Yet another shitty day to follow a shit weekend.

As I mentioned a week ago, I decided to split with my missus. I had tried to be civil all the way through, and I genuinely wanted us to be friends in the future. She declined this, saying she wanted nothing more to do with me, etc etc, explicitly saying she was going to move back in with her dad ASAP.

Today, my flatmate announced he was moving out to live closer to work, and with my brother and his missus wanting to move on, and myself staying down at work for the forseeable future, meant noone wanted to stay in the flat. I met up with my brother on Friday and told him of my intentions to let my landlord (A supervisor I work with) know that we were going to move out in mid-May. He agreed, so I informed him today, and set up a timeline and plan of what needs doing and when (Bills, defects, etc).

Now I've just had the ex calling me up in balls of tears, saying she can't go back to her dad's, because he doesn't want her there (He wants to live ALONE in a five floor, six bedroom house, I wish I was making this up!), and that she's still madly in love with me, and I've effectively made her homeless, and to top it all off, my brothers' missus is having a go at me for the entire scenario, despite the fact it's only my name on the contract and I don't go home anymore.

In every respect, I'm totally funked. I feel like crying at this stage.

What do I do? I was confused enough at this stage, and unsure of wether or not I was doing the right thing by leaving her anyway, now I've got to deal with all this.

 

[mix2000]

Sit down, take a very large breath, get your mind clear on what YOU!! want to do. It can be hard to think objectively in the heat of the moment. And if need be, have a good sleep on it. Only you know whats good for you and don't let others pressure you, they don't have to live your live.
best wishes k:

 

[Anonymous]

Aw mate *Hugs*

Thats shit, personally Ithink your ex is only saying what she said because her dad won't let her back with him, and she thinks that saying she still loves you will mean you'll happily take her back with open arms.

As for your brothers missus, surely she knows about your situation etc and that you have arranged timelines for bills. Id ignore her and tell her to speak to your brother if she has issues
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT AT ALL mate.

end of the day mate its your life, personally Id go ahead and move on. don't look back - it just gets you in more shit.

Good Luck

 

[harrisg]

I've had a sleep over this, and I've decided to just go with it, and see what happens. I don't particularly care anymore what they think of me, I'm looking after number one here, I didn't have to give them any notice at all, as it's only my name on the contract, and I still think two and a half months is ample time to sort this shit out!

Cheers for listening, you're champions!

 

[Anonymous]

good for you mate!!

 

[BenF]

a bit late as you seem to have decided anyway, but for what it is worth:

the main issue as I see it is you and the lady you have split from. Why did you split (no need to actually tell us!)? If whatever caused the split originally has not been fixed you will never work properly as a team, and if the trust between you is gone it will never work. It needs both of you to agree, not just one making promises/pleading. As I think you have made up your mind I hope I am only adding weight to what you already think! As has already been said on this thread, you need to think about what YOU want.

 

[bloodypuma]

i think you should take a long relaxing drive in your ford puma thats what i do

 

[warrenpenalver]

in crude terms, fu*k her off and sort yourself out first.

as youve said your name is on the contract. You have until middle of may. In a legal sense you are giving her more than ample notice to move. As a tenant on a AST your only entitled to give/recieve 28 days notice and as a lodger which she is, she has virtually no rights and is only entitled to "reasonable notice". Your being more than reasonable.

If she wants to take over the contract on the place then fair enough.

did she pay much in rent anyway??

You have your reasons for splitting up with her. her claiming shes homeless and crying and shit wont change that. If shes not mature enough to have a sit down conversation over it without resorting to the immature "burst into tears and get sympathy" act then she doesnt deserve to have a chance to be with you let alone be with you.

Your brothers missus has clearly been having a bit of girl talk and taken the girls versus boys approach as so many do in such things without actually looking rationally at whatever is going on. Ive noticed that when ive split up with people before, all their friends and loose associations rally round and only listen to her side of the story regardless of obvious evidence to the contary. Its not just a woman thing, blokes can be just as bad its just in most cases woman have more woman friends and vice versa.