Mick's di'stink'ly average joke thread... :)

[mix2000]

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'

The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'

The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

 

[Flying Scotsman]

Someone needs to rename this thread...

 

[mix2000]

Sorted!

 

[mix2000]

Quick groans...

I just brought a friend of mine a new fridge, should have seen his face light up when he opened it!
...
He moved into a new house at the weekend so I took him over a couple of radiators. Just a little house warming present.
...
I've just had a letter back from Screwfix. they said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency.
...
I've just heard the window cleaner shouting and swearing outside my house. I think he's lost his rag....
...
I went to my allotment last week and found someone had covered it with 2 inches of soil.
I went again yesterday only to find it covered again with another 2 inches of soil.
Hmm.. The plot thickens!!!
...
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time....

 

[BenF]

just when you thought the jokes couldn't get any worse...

 

[Ginger Tom]

Lol, ^^^^ my sentiments exactly

 

[Dal]

My kind of jokes k:

 

[Dal]

Making bad chemistry jokes, because all the good ones Argon.

 

[mix2000]

I Guess most think its Boron.. :roll:

 

[Ginger Tom]

That's poor lads, really poor

 

[mix2000]

Na, but need to stop, wouldn't want you to sulphur :-D

 

[evilrob]

I've got my ion you...

 

[mix2000]

This may be a tad radical, but I'm not sure whether that's a positive or a negative comment....

 

[BenF]

you ought to be charged for that suggestion

 

[evilrob]

Hey Ben - do you have any sodium hypobromite?

 

[Dal]

Chemistry cat rocks:
http://chemistry.about.com/od/chemistryjokes/ig/Chemistry-Cat/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

 

[evilrob]

Kinda ruined the set-up for Ben, there... :roll:

 

[Dal]

I doubt if Ben would have known the punchline in the hipster - gangster setup TBH.

 

[BenF]

(sadly) Dal is right - I really needed the pic!


anyway, the (modern) systematic name for NaBrO is sodium bromate(I)

ok, I'll get my coat...

 

[evilrob]

ok, I'll get my (lab) coat...

FTFY :-D