Mick's di'stink'ly average joke thread... :)
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mix2000
Active member
:lol:quest63 said::grin: They do say the first one down there is devastating. I shall report back if and when lol
mix2000
Active member
Gonna be Lynched for this :lol:
The Husband Shop
A brand new store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City!
At the entrance, you will find the following explanation of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE.
There are six floors, and the value of the products increase at each floor.
The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or instead go up to the next floor.
The shopper cannot go back down, except to exit the building.
We followed a customer inside the Husband Store on her way to find the perfect husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These Men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 – These Men Have Jobs & Love Kids.
"That's nice," she sighed, "But I want more."
The shopper continues to the next floor. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 – These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids, & Are Extremely Good Looking.
"Wow," she said, but yet felt compelled to keep going.
We followed her to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 – These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids, Are Drop-Dead Good Looking, & Help With Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 – These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids, Are Drop-Dead Gorgeous, Help With Housework, & Have A Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at The Husband Store!
The Husband Shop
A brand new store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City!
At the entrance, you will find the following explanation of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE.
There are six floors, and the value of the products increase at each floor.
The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or instead go up to the next floor.
The shopper cannot go back down, except to exit the building.
We followed a customer inside the Husband Store on her way to find the perfect husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These Men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 – These Men Have Jobs & Love Kids.
"That's nice," she sighed, "But I want more."
The shopper continues to the next floor. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 – These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids, & Are Extremely Good Looking.
"Wow," she said, but yet felt compelled to keep going.
We followed her to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 – These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids, Are Drop-Dead Good Looking, & Help With Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 – These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids, Are Drop-Dead Gorgeous, Help With Housework, & Have A Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at The Husband Store!
mix2000
Active member
The Wife Shop
To avoid gender bias charges, the previous store's owner has opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex, have money, and enjoy drinking beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited!
:lol:
To avoid gender bias charges, the previous store's owner has opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex, have money, and enjoy drinking beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited!
:lol:
mix2000
Active member
Just waiting for these :lol:
quest63
Active member
:lol: :lol: :thumbs:
mix2000
Active member
Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked and caressing his tractor.
Mick says, "Jaysus, Paddy, what ya doing?"
Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately & I went to a therapist and they recommended I do something sexy to a Tractor....
Mick says, "Jaysus, Paddy, what ya doing?"
Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately & I went to a therapist and they recommended I do something sexy to a Tractor....
mix2000
Active member
:lol:
mix2000
Active member
A little boy gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
As he passes his parent’s bedroom he peeks in through the keyhole.
He watches for a moment, then continues on down the hallway, saying to himself,
“Boy, and she gets mad at me for sucking my thumb!”
As he passes his parent’s bedroom he peeks in through the keyhole.
He watches for a moment, then continues on down the hallway, saying to himself,
“Boy, and she gets mad at me for sucking my thumb!”
yippeekiay
Well-known member
:thumbs:
mix2000
Active member
Paddy & Mick find three grenades, so they argue what to do about them, but eventually decide to take them to a police station.
Mick: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two"!
Mick: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two"!
mix2000
Active member
Happy Easter
A Japanese guy is at Los Angeles International Airport, waiting for his flight back home to Japan. While he's waiting, he goes to the currency exchange counter to change his remaining dollars.
He counts his money at the counter. "Wait minute," he says to the clerk, "When I came here I got more dolla for my yen. What going on?"
"Fluctuations." says the clerk.
"Well! Fluck you Americans, too!"
A Japanese guy is at Los Angeles International Airport, waiting for his flight back home to Japan. While he's waiting, he goes to the currency exchange counter to change his remaining dollars.
He counts his money at the counter. "Wait minute," he says to the clerk, "When I came here I got more dolla for my yen. What going on?"
"Fluctuations." says the clerk.
"Well! Fluck you Americans, too!"
quest63
Active member
Nice :lol:
reminds me of the TV clip of a reporter who spotted an advert BY a guy renting out a house in Australia.The advert said House for rent no asians, this outraged the TV reporter who went to interview the guy about it. Anyway the reporters having a right go and the man renting the house is getting wound up,and hes saying no way hes having any f**king asians, anyway after 5 mins it turns out there was a misprint in the advert and they just werent understanding each other.
What the guy renting the house had said was no AGENTS
reminds me of the TV clip of a reporter who spotted an advert BY a guy renting out a house in Australia.The advert said House for rent no asians, this outraged the TV reporter who went to interview the guy about it. Anyway the reporters having a right go and the man renting the house is getting wound up,and hes saying no way hes having any f**king asians, anyway after 5 mins it turns out there was a misprint in the advert and they just werent understanding each other.
What the guy renting the house had said was no AGENTS
quest63
Active member
Ha ha thats the one. cheers Rob I havent seen that for 15 years or so :lol: :lol:
